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What are the common sexual problems experienced by both men and women? What are the suggested ways to minimize it? The discussion of sex can be really complex and this is just a brief discussion. Do read up more about other issues that are bothering you, or consult a therapist.
Men's challenges
Climaxing too fast or Premature ejaculation
The main problem that affects men is premature ejaculation (PE), which occurs before a man wants to ejaculate. PE is, to simply put it, a learning difficulty. Research estimate the average male ejaculates anywhere from one minute to seven minutes with adequate stimulation to the penis. Don't be misled by porn movies showing men performing for more than 30 minutes and think that's what average men do.
PE can also caused by psychological factors such as guilt, fear, and performance anxiety. The possible sources of these psychological factors are many and can vary with each individual. When these barriers are present, they can often be best addressed by working with a certified sex therapist.
The solution : A traditional treatment method would be for a man to be aware of this premonitory sensations - the feelings that come just before he has an orgasm. By learning to become very familiar with these sensations, men can slowly learn how to predict when the upcoming ejaculation will occur and gain more control over their ejaculations. The treatment of PE is very male focused and it is not uncommon for the man's sex partner to feel left out. Males learning to extend the time it takes them to ejaculate are usually instructed to not engage in intercourse during the first few stages of treatment.
For more information on PE, read more about controlling premature ejaculation in our article page.
Failing to Perform
Don't be surprised that even the most macho male may also experience performance challenges. Most of the time these failures are one-time-only events. Maybe he was too stressed or tired, or drank or eat a little too much, all these will interrupt his concentrations.
Whatever the causes, don't be overly concerned about your past failures when you participate in your next sexual escapades, else your worries may actually become your most feared result and self fulfilling prophecy. Be upfront about the cause of the problem. If you drank too much, admit it openly.
If you develop performance problems that is psychological instead of physical, you and your partner may need to consult a therapist.
Ladies' challenges
Women rarely have problems with the mechanics of making love, because they don't really need to do very much to participate. However, many women develop difficulties enjoying sex, especially enjoying orgasms.
Faking it
Can you fake it? Is it wrong to fake it? It's easy for a woman to thrash around, moan and throw her head back and forth like a banshee. Faking it once a while is ok, but consistent faking becomes a problem. Admitting faked orgasms to your partner is a difficult task fearing of hurting your partner with this confession. A woman needs to conquer this problem from the root.
If you are experiencing problems with climax, let your partner know as early as possible. Two of you can explore why this problem occurs and how to alleviate it. If you can't resolve this situation on your own, the sex therapist would be able to consult you.
Remember you will pay a price for faking orgasm. While you are busy faking it, you are missing out the real pleasure you could be feeling. You are also setting yourself up for a vicious cycle of having to fake it every time you have sex. If you do not come next time, you partner may think that he/she may have done something wrong. Additionally, you are doing nothing to help your partner learn how to pleasure you to orgasm.
Faking orgasm will deprive you and your partner of the nest things about sex : trust, honesty and intimacy. Give your partner and yourself the REAL pleasure of an orgasm, not the lies and problems associated with fakes.
Pleasuring yourself
The basic solution for this problem is to teach yourself how to pleasure yourself to orgasm. After you discovered how to achieve orgasm by yourself, you can give your man a good lesson.
If you can't achieve an orgasm using your finger, we would recommend using a vibrator. A vibrator was first prescribed by doctors to treat patients with ''hysteria'', bringing them to orgasm and calming them down. The sensations caused by a vibrator is much stronger than those you create with your fingers. And you need strong enough vibrations to achieve orgasm.
Your next step is to figure out how to achieve an orgasm without a vibrator, and the final step teaching your partner how to make you come. If using a vibrator of any kind is the only way that works for you, you and your partner may learn how to integrate its use into your love life. Using a vibrator to achieve orgasm is certainly preferable to not deriving any satisfaction at all.
Editor's note : The vagina itself has no mechanism to simulate pleasure or orgasm for women (unless talking about G-spot stimulation), thus what we refer to pleasuring yourself above is through direct stimulation on your clitoris only. Penile thrusting has little or no stimulation on the clitoris, thus only male orgasm is achieved. How to have both of you enjoy pleasure together? Try the vibrating cock rings for Integrating vibrator while making love. The vibrator stimulates her clitoris while the cock ring enhance your erection.
Examples of vibrating cock rings as follow :
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